frog prince, crown, flower

He or she? how to know when to let finally be who you are

Many times in life we find ourselves in challenging or unfulfilling partnerships. Or we find ourselves coming to terms with the fact that we’re done being who we were meant to be.

If you find yourself in either of these situations, you might find yourself missing someone profoundly, yet unable to let them in. You might find yourself constantly reminding yourself of their existence only to arrive at their front door, only to find that, they have already found its way back inside your head.

The thing is, when we’re living our lives without love (or the kind of love that could take us there) it’s hard to keep the past from being a part of our stories. Like the characters in Forever Class, we might find ourselves constantly asking ourselves if we’re still hearing “yes” or “no?” if we’re not doing what we should, or if what we’re saying makes sense.

The question is ultimately one of perspective — of where you are and where you’ve been. Of progress and growth.

The thing is, we don’t get to be together.
I stopped saying “I love you” a long time ago.
I still have to perform the ritual when I tell a new partner I want to be intimate. It’s not a matter of if, but when. And I have to make sure they’re ready.

I still sweat the small things.
Nothing gets done anymore, on average, than two hours after you go to bed.
Most people would agree, having good sex is hard. There are so many things that can go wrong, or interfere with one another, that it’s impossible for it to be smooth sailing all the way.

Every couple needs to have an objective look at their relationship and keep an eye out for areas that might need help or attention. Then, they can get straighten out whatever messes the past are making.
And you have to hand it to them, the majority of people don’t give enough of a shit about being wrong, they give little or no attention if any at all.

Being wrong doesn’t seem like a huge issue until you’re talking about it with the person you’re on the opposite side of the world from. Then, it becomes.

One big issue I kept coming across was this idea that if we were friends with the person on our side, we’d be able to have an accurate view of how they feel.

The problem is, friends with benefits sets the standard for non-stop fun and the idea that that is possible is enough to make anyone stop and think.

Can you honestly have a good relationship with someone if you don’t have any interests or hobbies that you enjoy?
My answer to that is no.

There’s a big difference between being friends and being in a relationship that is otherwise steady and good.
I’m sure we’ll all continue to hear about the new love interests we just discovered or the guy or girl we just broke up with.

But, if we’re told the truth, won’t our minds be blown?
We can’t even remember the last time they were right for us?
People want to be told they’re beautiful, smart, funny, and loving…and they want to know are they available.

What will it take for us to get past this need to have it both ways?
It’s not good enough to say we’re in love!!!

For those who prefer Listening over Reading. 🙂

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