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I never had an emotional Affair

“You’ve got a problem with that?” my ex-husband asked me once.
I knew what he was talking about. I was pregnant at the time, and he’d just told me he was getting divorced.
I was shocked. I told him I didn’t have an affair. (His response was “I don’t think you’ve ever had an affair.” I didn’t believe him.)
I knew he was right. I’d had one boyfriend in high school, and I’d done a little experimenting with guys in the early days of my relationship with that boyfriend. I’d had an affair with a former high school boyfriend, and I’d done it all without bringing up the affair at all.
I’d had an affair with a former boyfriend in high school.
I never had an affair during my marriage, and I didn’t have a boyfriend during my divorce. So I suppose I never had an affair.
And I never had a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months.
I think most people would agree that staying in an abusive relationship is a moral no-no. But what about staying in one for more than a couple of months?


Apparently, it’s okay to cheat on your wife or boyfriend even though you’ve never had an affair before. The “you’ve never had an affair” bit is true — I’ve never had an affair. But the reality is that most people haven’t.
In my experience, the people who do have affairs feel guilty about it and try to justify their actions. They think it’s their fault that their partner cheated on them, so they want to make it okay for their cheating to continue.
That’s not okay. Of course, it’s not okay for everyone to engage in affairs. I believe that having an affair is immoral. I think it’s unethical. I think it’s selfish.


Of course, I’m not advocating for affairs between people of the same sex. I’m just saying that when it comes to staying in an abusive relationship, not having an affair is a better choice than staying because you have an affair.
I was in an abusive relationship for more than a couple of months.
My ex-husband and I got along very poorly. We didn’t have any interests or hobbies. We didn’t like each other.
He was controlling, and he made me feel like a lesser person. I think that’s part of the reason why I cheated on him. I wanted to get out of that situation and move on.
When I told my ex-husband that I was seeing someone else, he said, “I knew you’d take it.” He told me that if I wanted to keep going on an affair-type of relationship, I’d have to leave him.
I left him a few months later because I thought having an affair was a bad decision and that staying was the only way to save my marriage.
I don’t think most people realize just how long staying in an abusive relationship can take. It’s not always obvious.
I stayed in an abusive relationship for more than a couple of months. It had started well, and I thought I’d finally gotten the worst of him.
Things definitely improved after a couple of months, but I still found it hard to trust anyone. I still struggled with feelings of insecurity and anxiety.


At the time, I didn’t fully understand what an affair was. I just knew that I’d had a few drinks and made a stupid mistake.
I was so unhappy that I wanted to get back out there and get my revenge on my ex.
I had no idea how hard I’d fought to stay in that relationship. I didn’t realize I was fighting for my life.
I made some bad choices, and I ended up leaving a relationship that was more harmful to me than my ex-husband.
I did some research and discovered that I could have gotten out of the situation if I hadn’t cheated.
I realized that I had been in an affair for a long time before I ever met my ex-husband.
I’d been having sex with other men since I was a teenager. I had some male friends who were married, and they would act like I was their girlfriend when we were at work or at school.
I thought they loved me and that they wanted to take me back, but I knew that wasn’t the case. They could tolerate my homosexuality a little more than my heterosexual girlfriends, but not enough to look the other way when I had homosexual feelings.
I had to face the fact that I was in an open relationship.
I was a slut.
I had always considered myself a strong, independent woman. I had always fought for the little guy. I thought guys needed to like me for me to be attractive to them. I felt I was owed that favor.

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