There are many women who say they don’t like “womanly” men. But who said they were “womanly”? I suspect some of these people are also not aware that the men who representationally frame as “womanly” are often the product of deceptive design.
It’s time to admit that they’re not always “womanly” imitate earnestness. The men who are intentionally implemented in our culture as “womanly” are often predators who take advantage of the weak to feed their egos. That is why they often reenact their victimhood (along with commenting on the victim’s appearance) to deflect any consequences. They are not “bad” people, they are cowards.
This line of thinking usually ends there, though. Some people say that the men we should focus on are the good ones, the ones who are willing to be adults and take responsibility for their actions. While I will agree with that to an extent, it does not erase the fact that these are usually not the ones we should be focusing on. The good ones aren’t always the ones being the nice guys, they are the ones being the nice guys for a reason.
What is your intention behind directing angry words my way? Are you not ashamed of yourself because I would never do something like this to someone? Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just complain to the person that did it to you? If we are all just doing what we want and expecting certain things in return, are we not all the person we were born to be? Or are we every just like the rest of the population in that we do things once a decade or so? Are we as a people really changed by the way we deal with the differences in others that are not like us?
It is time to admit that these men are not “womanly” because they are not predator like. They are the exception to the rule, not the rule itself. They are the exception to the rule that if we just let go of our anger and frustration we can then form a more kinder, more accepting relationship with the other person. Instead of venting to someone your feelings are out of control, maybe try channel those feelings into making someone else a cup of coffee or giving them a hug. You will then have a positive by putting energy back into the situation. This will not only work out the situation but it will make you feel good as well.
Turning the page and writing a new chapter in your life is what I believe helps us progress as individuals and as a couple. Ending a cycle that has no place in our lives. These are lessons that we have to learn from, and again and again. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We have to work at these lessons but they are always with us in some form or fashion. Sometimes they are in the form of a positive or negative self-image we create about ourselves.
Just as we create relationships that are beneficial to us and give them a chance to go out and grow, we need to learn from the men in our lives. When we fail to do this we continue to hang out with the same kind of men and we continue to experience the same kind of relationships. We cannot continue to develop our lives together if we are not developing ourselves. When we are not growing we are continuing to receive what we have to offer, and that is all we know.
If you sense a relationship is going down the drain do not accept the reason. Instead, begin to explore ways in which you can change yourself into better man; you can begin to experience the love you want to receive. You don’t have to cut yourself off from the relationship completely, but you do need to find your strength to stand up for yourself and stop being the one who gives the relationship away. When you are able to stop giving the relationship away, you will see it for what it is- a waste. Whatever happens, you will be able to say that you had fun, you had value, and your ex will no longer be able to claim your time, money, or your love.