A few months ago, I found myself in a bit of a pickle. My husband, Don, had suddenly decided that he was just not up for continuing our relationship. It had been a little over a year since we’d last spoke, and he’d gotten very busy with his career. I was surprised by the sudden change of heart, but I let it go and tried to move forward.
Just like that! I had a new partner and all of a sudden I wasn’t excited about putting my life into over-charge. As things progressed, I found myself feeling quite sad about not having a guy by my side. Perhaps it was because he was suddenly more important to me than my relationship?
As Don once said to me,
“You can’t always get what you want.”
I’m someone who thrives on challenges. As a student, I find that my mind tends to take things for granted and I don’t always make the best of it. I often feel like I’ve forgotten what’s most important, so when Don came into my life, he came into it like a blank page — ready to rewrite my mental processes.
He was also right in that our relationship couldn’t go on the way we’d started it. I loved him with all my heart, but there was still so much more to learn about him and he was still very much in the planning stage.
Over the coming months, we began to learn each other’s minds and we began to understand each other. I began to learn how to be vulnerable with him and he began to learn how to be vulnerable with me. Over the coming years, we’ll continue to explore the deeper waters of each other’s minds.
But for now, it’s time for me to focus on being my own person. I am learning how to be my own person, to make my own decisions, and to live my own life.
This is what it truly means to start over. It’s a new you stepping into the world. You’ll make mistakes and you’ll get lost at times, but you’ll pivot and move forward.
Now it’s time to open up your heart. It’s time to let those heartbreak bugs out. It’s time to fill those holes that haven’t been filled in a long time with new love and new feelings.
Only then will you be able to truly find the one who’s been filling those holes for you.
Be patient. Be kind. Be generous. Be patient.
Because everything is going to be better when you’re with someone who’s been there before you.