heartbreak, grief, loss

Stages of Breakup

A breakup is the worst day of my life. It’s the one day I think about all the things I’m going to do and how my life is going to unfold. I’m going to have a party, I’m going to have a barbecue, I’m going to have a ton of fun with my friends.

Then, my phone starts to buzz. Is everything okay? We may have to go right now, but I didn’t tell you this. I didn’t want to tell you this before we went to the movies and had a picnic, but I didn’t want you to miss out on what we did. Everything is okay, but I have broken up with you. Tell you what, go to the movies anyway.

You can’t go because you are breaking up with me. You will feel guilty, and I will explain to you why I betrayed you. You will feel the worst at the end of the movie, and you will be glad when you get home and open the door to find your home-cooked by my dirty, smelly, nasty mop.

One of the most painful and difficult stages is going through the breakup process alone. It is not something to be taken lightly. Every day keeps getting worse. You have a huge hole in your soul, your confidence is at an all-time low, and you are an insecure mess.

At some point, you will have to decide if you’re going to suffer in silence or stand and fight for your heart. Most people find it easier to stay in the dark about the whole situation. That’s what happened to my friend I mentioned earlier. She was brave enough to speak up and admit it to me. I sincerely think that’s what they do to avoid unwanted drama. They don’t want unwanted drama, that’s why they keep it to themselves.

At first, they feel they shouldn’t have to. They mean well, they really do. But they can’t stop thinking about what happened, or they feel like they’ll lose both of them as a couple.

So what should you do? Avoid reading into things? Well, that’s about as much help as you can be from a stranger. Stick to the facts and let your friend deal with their feelings. Find a safe, quiet, and comfortable time to talk to them. Once you have something to talk about, listen to them without interruption. Don’t try to solve their problems for them. You aren’t a mind reader, you know what happened is really bad, and you really hate it when people are manipulated. Express yourself as you are and let them handle their feelings.

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