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Are you in an Unhealthy Relationship?

It doesn’t take much to fall for someone, but it takes a lot to build a life with them. Relationships are complicated, with a lot of moving pieces that can make it difficult to keep up with what’s really going on. When we love someone, we love them deeply, and it can be too painful to admit that things aren’t quite what we want them to be. We must admit, though, when our relationships have become unhealthy or too toxic to bear.

What is the state of your relationship? Are you and your partner on the same page, or are you both reaching for different things? Do you talk to one another? Open up when it counts? Or do you hide things from one another, try to change each other, and avoid the truth entirely? Stop making your partnership out to be something that it isn’t. It’s time for you to take off the blinder and admit that you’re in an unhealthy relationship.

Reality isn’t always what we want it to be.

Falling in love with someone has a strange way of pulling a veil down all around us. We start to see our partners as we want to see them and, within that, we begin to see our relationships as something different from they truly are. It’s important that we remain logical, rational, and reasonable throughout the length of our relationships. This, however, requires that we embrace reality for what it is — rather than what we wished it was.

What is the state of your closest intimate relationship? Do you and your partner get along? Or are your days (and nights) filled with heartache, conflict, and a complete lack of mutual happiness and fulfillment? These are all signs of a relationship that’s unhealthy and unrewarding. Still, though, many of us press on together without accepting these hard truths.
You don’t have to exist with a painful, reductive, dismissive relationship. You don’t have to change who you are to make your partner love you, or give up those parts of self which bring you joy and curiosity. If you’re here, it’s because you’re ready to accept the truth for yourself. Stop running into the arms of something that makes you miserable and start taking action that can reconnect you with passion. You have every right to be happy, but you will first have to do some honest reckoning.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Are you dealing with a relationship that’s harmful to your sense of self, or self-esteem? Unhealthy relationships are everywhere, but we alone have the power to spot the warning signs (and take action to correct them).

Vulnerability and communication are vital to the healthy relationship. We need to be able to open up to our partners, and we need to know that we’re safe with them. Do you and your partner struggle to communicate? When you open up to your partner, do they dismiss your feelings or make you feel invalidated? These are all classic signs of an unhealthy relationship.

The healthy relationship doesn’t need to keep score, because both partners understand the delicate balance of give-and-take between them. Do you or your partner always bring up issues of the past? And throw old hurts and heartaches in one another’s faces? This keeping score of the past creates a huge divide in our relationships and erodes the sense of trust and security we feel in one another.

Even when we’re in a serious relationship, we are still responsible for our behavior, thoughts, and decisions. Your partner can’t make you lash out or react. They can’t control your thoughts or drive you into something you don’t want to do. You alone are responsible for who you are within a relationship and outside of it. By shifting the blame to your partner, you create an unhealthy, unstable, and therefore off-balance bond that is tough to navigate.

Jealousy is a toxic emotion and one that can create serious cracks in our partnerships. While it can result from experiences — more often than not — our jealousy arises from deep-seated insecurities and the painful lessons we’ve etched into our own hearts. When we base our connection around our jealous insecurities, we drive our partners away from us and create an automatic air of betrayal and mistrust.

Abuse and manipulation — whether it be physical or emotional — is never acceptable and always a sign of a toxically imbalanced partnership. There’s no excuse for putting your hands on someone, and there’s likewise no excuse for injuring them with mental wounds that follow them for years to come. When it comes to this type of relationship, we have to be brutally honest about the reality and our safety too.
Does your partner tend to isolate you? Or do they encourage you to cut your social ties? Perhaps they are jealous of your friends and family, or perhaps they believe that they bring you down.

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