As you probably know, my relationship is not working out. I’ll keep being honest, but it’s hard to keep it hidden all the time. I’m afraid that something is going to break, and then we’ll have to address it. The last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions, and I don’t know how to even begin to describe the number of ups and downs.
The worst part was, I thought I was finally fixing things, and then all of a sudden, it happened all over again.
The worst part is that I’m afraid that this cycle will continue until it kills me. I’m afraid of dying alone, and having no one to tell the story of my life.
In the past, I’ve tried to tell others about my issues, and I’ve gotten all these “Trying to be helpful” responses. I’m pretty sure those responses came because people thought I was trying to be mean. I don’t want to be mean to people who are struggling. But, I don’t understand why I shouldn’t get a response.
This is what I’ve been trying to say:
People are going through a lot, and there is no excuse for being in an anxious attachment style.
There is no reason to keep trying to save your relationship.
The only reason to keep trying to save your relationship is because you think it’s all your fault.
You created this cycle by being unstable and out of control.
You’re probably not even aware of it, but you created this cycle by staying in an extremely toxic and unhealthy relationship, or your partner may have.
Your anxious and insecure nature wants to be validated, and that means trying to find faults with your partner. You’re looking for any reason to resent your partner.
This is why you’ll often find your partner complaining about their partner to you, and you’ll believe everything your partner is saying.
When you become angry at your partner, you become even more angry at yourself.
You don’t want to take responsibility for any of your actions or behaviors, and you’ll blame yourself for everything that ever happened.
Your anxious nature means that you can’t be quiet for more than a few minutes at a time. You’ll constantly be trying to solve the problems in your relationship, and you’ll do anything you can to keep up the high spirits of your relationship.
Your energy is very toxic. It’s not conducive to a healthy relationship.
The energy in a relationship is so toxic that it can cause people to lose their minds.
There is no end to the ways you can hurt your partner. You may say or do these things to try to change the energy in the relationship:
No relationship is ever 100% perfect. Any couple has problems, and any couple can have disagreements. It’s impossible to make any relationship perfect.
But, there are some serious signs that you may be experiencing an anxious attachment style, even if you don’t recognize it right away.
If you recognize it right away, there’s hope for you and your partner. If you’ve been experiencing these signs but you’re unsure if you’re in an anxious attachment style yourself, here are some questions to help get a better look:
These questions aren’t meant to replace talking with your partner or attending to any other attachment style issues. These questions are meant to help get a better look at your relationship and how these attachment styles are affecting your relationship.
By asking these questions, you’ll help yourself and your partner better understand your patterns. You’ll also give yourself the ability to self-soothe and to feel better about yourself and your relationship.
These questions also give you an opportunity to share your thoughts and feelings, which can help you and your partner figure out how to make your relationship healthier and more compatible.
I hope the questions above help you and your partner figure out how to figure out why your relationship is unhealthy and how to make it better! If you have more questions, please reach out to me or write me a message!