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Is your Spouse Crazy? Take the spray out

Crazy relationships, sometimes known as toxic relationships, are a sad reality many of us face in our lives. When a relationship is plagued with erratic behavior (emotion, anger, resentment, etc.) it can cloud. lead to problems that are difficult to work through and can easily escalate into trouble.

While some people may have a single issue or series of issues that lead to problems, as a whole, complex relationships are riddled with erratic behavior and anger that makes it difficult to feel safe in the relationship.
While some people may make mistakes, the way a couple goes up and down, in love and in pain, means that there is more than one issue that may be leading up to the problems that we are facing as individuals.
If you and your partner are not on the same page, or if problems with one of you are not resolved in a timely manner, this may be a sign of a problematic relationship.

What is a dysfunctional relationship?
A dysfunctional relationship is defined as an established relationship where the partners have little to no communication, little or no attachment, and little or no trust.
The behavior of one partner is often out of fear, anger, or some other inappropriate emotion. The partner may act cold, aloof, pushy, or indifferent, and may even act like they don’t want to talk about the problem at all. They may also act like the problem doesn’t exist, that the relationship is unaffected by the issue at hand.

Because there’s little or no real commitment being made, there’s little or no willingness on the part of both partners to work through issues and make it work. The relationship is filled with growing discontent, and growing dissatisfaction on both sides.
Signs of a dysfunctional relationship
When you see these signs, whether you see them or have experienced them yourself, it’s important to recognize them and take note. By recognizing them, you can take steps to improve your relationship and your life.

Sometimes, the simplest things can take on a great deal of complexity when you notice the signs of a dysfunctional relationship. For instance, if you’re experiencing anger issues, you may feel angry to the point of damaging the relationship, and your partner may not express themselves in anger — but they may still be angry as a result of your reaction.
If you’re experiencing feelings of guilt, you may find yourself questioning how your partner could be acting that way, and wonder what you’re doing wrong. You may also start to wonder what you did wrong.

If you’re experiencing issues with trust and safety — even if it’s only with your partner — it can lead to questions about what you’re seeing and feeling as a whole. You may discover bits and pieces of your partner’s “secret life” that you’re not clear on, and it can make you wonder where those feelings and thoughts are coming from or how you can get to them.
The bigger the issue, the more that it will complicate your relationship.
When it comes to the personal or romantic aspects of a dysfunctional relationship, you may notice that your partner’s behavior can range from predictable to more than a little bizarre. This can lead to a great deal of confusion and turmoil in your life, as you try to ascertain where you stand.

It’s important to keep in mind that not all dysfunction comes from your partner. Sometimes, you may be the problem. It’s important to remember that you aren’t the problem, but rather your partner, or someone in your life, may be the problem.
Regardless of who it is, you may find that they are unable to give you what you need emotionally or physically, and you may need to find other ways of showing your needs.

What it means to love yourself
In order to truly love yourself, you need to know what brings you joy in life and how you can incorporate that into your relationships. You also need to know what you can do to make your partner happy, as well as how you can give back.
When you are the problem, you may not even realize you’re the problem. You might find yourself going out of your way to fix things for your partner, even if it means taking too much of their time or giving more than you should.

When you’re the solution, though, you may realize that you’re not the solution. You may realize that solutions often require the help of others to be effective. You recognize that you need to take care of yourself and get your needs met by other people.
This, though, doesn’t mean that you can’t take care of your partner when you’re not in a relationship. You can be a powerful partner, and a good partner in turn-taking and collaboration. You can get your needs met by helping your partner, or they can get their needs met for you.
It’s not always easy to do this, though, and you shouldn’t expect it to be easy for your partner either.

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