rose, heart, castle

Things you’ll never change in a partner

A young woman told me she wanted to be in an open relationship. She was against it for various reasons, but most importantly because she already had a partner who was into it.
I didn’t react. I didn’t think she was right or that I could change who I was to fit into the picture she was trying to put together.
I just smiled and said, “OK.”

I’ve been in eight relationships in my lifetime — all of them have ended without warning or explanation.
The people I was in those relationships with? I’m not proud of that. Some were fun, and some were exciting, but the last one killed us as individuals.
I’m not proud of the personal growth that had to happen in the midst of it.

Yet, most of these people never took anything personal. They were happy in their relationships with everyone, and I’m not sure why my hindsight makes me feel the need to point out the danger.
It was the love we had for each other — not the other way around.
We were two people who loved each other just as we were.
We were two people who cared for each other.
We were two people who might die on the same day, and we did not know it.
This was our one true love.

One of us was going to die, and we did not think twice about that.
What we once did care about, was being together in a way that we would be happy to remain together, and being with the person who was best in the world when we were together.
That was our point of view.
Our perspective.
Our world.

Our idea of how relationships work.
It was simple, straight-forward, and direct.
We were not looking for a story to make our point. We did not want to be in a relationship that was supposed to have an ending.
We did not want to spend time with someone and just see each other to be the same way tomorrow.
All of the people we knew, who were in relationships, came to us and said, “I don’t want to be in an on/off relationship. I don’t want to spend time with your boyfriend.”

Same with “I don’t want to spend time with your boyfriend and you.”
And then we were against the idea of anyone making any kind of demands on our relationships.
Our relationship could not work without communication.
Every time I think about that day, it reminds me of exactly how I want to be treated.
I want to be treated with respect and honor, and I don’t think that person respects me or honors me.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.