change, arrows, clouds

Your husband won’t change – even though you want him to

Earlier this week my wife dropped round to see a girlfriend of hers for a bit of a catch-up, and that evening, over dinner at home, she filled me in on the conversation that had taken place.

Apparently, her friend had spent the majority of their chat bad mouthing her husband, complaining about: his drinking; his inability to entertain the kids; his preference to be out of the house; his relationship with her stepdaughter; the list goes on.

At the end of the rundown of his Top Ten Flaws, I paused before saying “He did all of those things before they got married and before they had children. That’s the person she married.”
“I know,” said my wife. “It’s like she’s forgotten that and now wants him to be a completely different man to the one she met ten years ago.”

A day later I came across a similar discussion on a parenting Facebook group, where the wife was opening up to this group of anonymous strangers:
“I think I need to split from my little one’s father. We’ve been together a few years now and he’s always been a bit hopeless at helping round the house and taking care of my emotional needs, but pre-baby it didn’t matter much.”
“Since baby came along I can’t cope anymore… I’ve repeatedly asked him to step up and take his share of the housework off my shoulders because I can’t do it all. Whilst he will pick up some jobs he will repeatedly dodge

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