An affair is an open secret in many a marriage. Conversations between spouses over the house holding and the daily routine of an affair are common among couples at some point in their marriage.
One woman so gutsily tells her husband: “We are not on the same page with everything right now”. He so gutsily replies: “I know, but we are not small affairs, we are huge”. We are so lucky to have this conversation in our childhood. Parents are supposed to be trusted and listened to, but some marriages do drag on so long that their parents are forgotten.
Right now, my husband and I are in the process of finding our people and trying to find a way to end this non-stop drama that is our marriage.
If you want to find your people, stop making excuses for your partner, stop making changes to your relationship, stop putting on and take off layers, and stop caring if people like you or not. For your own sanity and your future happiness, this is the time to start listening and taking in by heart the people around you.
Look at the people you have connected with and encouraged to live your life with you. Those who have gone out of your life you will always remember, and you will always appreciate what they did for you, but you will also keep a picture of the person who inspired you and inspired you to be better than you were the day before.
The inspiration could be in the form of a book, a mentor, a lesson, or a person who pushes you to grow. So instead of trying to find layers to preserve what you have, look at the people who are pushing you to grow with them. Stop trying to protect the image of the people you know.
Look at who they are, what they want, and what they need. More than anything, know that they are safe with you and want the same things that you do. Sometimes I wonder if I would be more successful if I had been willing to enter into some form of therapy.
A therapist confirmed what I was thinking, that my issues with women were well-founded. I was not a bad woman, I just not as good as I wanted to be. So instead of trying to find people who could help me figure out what I wanted, I decided to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
So regardless of how this next chapter of my life plays out, it seems to me that I want to be successful, I want to give myself a high-quality life, and I want to have a true and meaningful experience.