Have you ever looked back at a failed relationship and wondered what could have been? You dissect the past relentlessly, convincing yourself that if you could just do this one thing differently, the outcome would have changed.
Maybe it was the way things ended with that friend of yours. Or the way in which your ex communicated with you. Or the way they treated you.
Whatever the case, you now have a new understanding of yourself and the person you were with. You now know that this is not who you truly are. In your old age, the weight of your toxic relationship pulls down your energy, your health, and your happiness.
Or maybe your partner has become the familiar version of the successful person we see hitting the big time. He/she has been successful at getting to the top, and many of us make the mistake of wanting to be like them.
In today’s world, everyone seems to be highly scrutinised. Their every action is scrutinised, from how they look to their financial status and even their thoughts and opinions.
This has been particularly acute in the dating world, especially online. The number of people refusing to take no for an answer and keeping their feelings bottled up for years on end is staggering.
Most people don’t understand why. They don’t know how difficult this search for love really is. And in some ways, they have the right to have high expectations because there are so many people struggling just to get by and make it to the top.
But here’s the thing — the truth is out there and so are their feelings. Don’t forget, love knows no bounds. No matter how much you might love someone, they may not feel the same way about you.
Here are four ways to tell if someone is romantically interested in you — even if you don’t feel it.
- They make great friends
“Those who have made a new friend are usually those who most enjoy your company, and therefore are the most receptive to your charm. They also love you, irrespective of whether you have a relationship with them.” — Kaleidoscope Meditation
Looking for someone to fill a void in your life is natural. Death, divorce, business failure — these are all situations where you’re taken aback by the change in people.
When you look back on your childhood or early adolescence, what are you surprised by? Something that stood out? Or explored?
There are things that you wish your parents had achieved? Maybe fame? Successful careers?
These are things that are more likely to happen if you become a successful person.
So, if you’re looking for a successful relationship, it’s likely that you’ll stumble upon people who like you just because you want something to aim for.
And they find you attractive too. Looks matter — more than you might think.
- They try to force the issue with life’s big challenges
“Most relationships start poorly, and end badly. You’re looking for someone who likes you, not who needs you.” — Nikki Martinez
We all have that one friend who feels that they’ve got it all figured out — who have friends, home, job, all set.
Before you know it, they’re questioning whether this new person is even real. Or simply don’t understand why you’re taking a risk with your life and heart.
This is the worst of both worlds. You want a person who’s on the same page, but still, feels entitled to all the gears and options.
The most important thing here is to keep things positive. Don’t take it personally. If they still fail to reciprocate even when you’ve been in the same boat for a while, it’s likely they have issues too.
The biggest thing to remember is that every single one of us is looking for that perfect partner who has it all figured out. It would be selfish on your part to tell them that they don’t have what it takes simply because you’re so far along, and they don’t seem to be able to see it.
- They make a big deal about their friendships
If you have a partner who spends a lot of time with their friends, it’s likely they don’t really want to be with you anymore. And that’s a big red flag.
The key here is friendship.
The term “friendship” gets over-simplified in most pop-psychology books and media of today. What many people understand is that friendship is a complementary thing, that it is good for us, but it’s also a bonding that provides a safety net.
Some people are just friends for the right person, but true friendship is a two-way street. You should never feel alone on a date — try to make your date as happy as possible by being helpful and polite. If they don’t return that, it’s a sign that maybe they have something else going on in their head.